If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
