I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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