But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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