Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
