okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
