Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
