Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
