Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
