i just sold back the books i vomitted on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I had your ass I would rule the world
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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