member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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