I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
