Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
