he shaved USA in his pubs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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