sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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