Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
