Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
