how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
