It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
