Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
