I'm eating all of the evidence.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
