20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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