i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
