Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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