Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
