i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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