So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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