dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
