The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
