Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
