I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
