He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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