Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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