All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
