Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
