They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
