i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
