Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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