Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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