I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
