Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
