We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
