so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
