Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
