She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
