at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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