Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
