dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
