Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
