Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
