and she was petting her beer can
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
