Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
