I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
